He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm both gender and math confused
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
