Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
