Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
