is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Are we still banned from the library?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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