the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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