we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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