Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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