Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
