i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
