just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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