maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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