Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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