Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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