But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
