I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
