OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize