I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
