I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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