I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
