Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
