its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
