I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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