All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
