rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
