I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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