Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
