i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize