Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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