i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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