it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
