New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
should my penis look like a turkey
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize