God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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