I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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