So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
