Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
