Will you blow on my dice?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
