I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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