So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
