it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
