That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
