i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
