He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
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I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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