toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
