Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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