We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
