"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
