i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
