I cockslap morals
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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