Nicole vs. Life
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
