i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I had to cum in my sink.
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