conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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