this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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