dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize