he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
